The Beginning of the End
by mkras
Summary: She's made her choice. Post-finale. Cate/Baze/Ryan
1. Prologue

I had really mixed feeling towards the finale. I know they were trying to go down a different route (and not the predictable one where Cate doesn't get married and ends up with Baze). However, I still don't know whether it was a good idea for Cate to actually marry Ryan. What I was hoping to see was that Ryan would call off the wedding.

Oh, and is anyone else sick of Cate saying how all she wants is to be _worthy_ of Ryan. Ugh, it makes me cringe.

Anyway, this could either be a prologue, or a really short one-shot. Just depends if anyone wants more?

BTW, I haven't given up on Life Discovered (although it may seem like I have) but I'm working on the next chapter now. Just finding it hard to get right.

* * *

**_The Beginning of the End_**

As soon as she's crashed their lips together, she feels a mix of emotions swirling around her head.

His arms wrap around her, pulling their bodies closer, but she feels nothing.

When they break apart, people are clapping. From the corner of her eye she can tell the doorway is empty.

_He's gone. _

Ryan slips his hand in hers and leads her down into the throng of people waiting to congratulate them. She doesn't really register who she's hugging, or whose hand is clasping hers. For a brief moment, her eyes meet Lux's. She quickly looks away, feeling uneasy; it's because her daughter is the only other person who knows what's really going on. And the significance of Baze showing up like that.

But either way, it doesn't matter anymore. She's made her choice.

* * *

When they finally reach the back end of the crowd, it's then she sees him. _He didn't leave._

He's sitting in the last pew, alone. He's staring at her, and she gets these goosebumps all over her body.

Ryan hasn't noticed him because he's too caught up in the moment, people patting him on the back and shaking his hand.

Baze is still watching her and she has to look away. She turns to the people currently congratulating Ryan and tries to involve herself. However, even as she's turned away from him, she can still feel his gaze, as if it's burning into her back.

"Okay, okay. Everyone, thanking you so much for coming today to share with Cate and I, this very special day." He pauses and smiles down at his wife. "Now, let's really celebrate!"

Everyone cheers as the newly wedded couple turn and make their way out of the church. Just before they reach the doorway, she chances a glance back at him.

He's still watching her. She tries read his expression, but it's impossible.

Then he smiles. It's small, and understanding and everything she doesn't deserve.

Cate feels her breath catch in her throat, and a pain constrict through her chest.

She knows his heart is breaking.

And so is hers.


	2. Hello Goodbye

Cheers for all the reviews. I'm honestly just taking this story one chapter at a time. I want this to have a happy ending, but we'll see.

Anyway, enjoy :) I had fun writing this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 1 'Hello Goodbye'**

As she disappeared out the doorway, Baze let his head fall and a sigh escape from his lips.

For the longest time he didn't move; he could here people slowly shuffling out, and he gratefully accepted the silence when the church became empty. Then he felt a small hand on his back. He didn't have to look up, he knew exactly who it was.

"Baze. What are you doing here?" His daughter's voice echoed softly throughout the high ceilings and he slowly looked up at her.

"I thought I knew. But now..."

Lux sat down beside him. "I have no idea what's going on with you. First you tell me that you love Cate, then you tell her the complete opposite and now you show up at the end of her wedding-"

"It was a mistake." He interrupted.

"Don't try and lie to me Baze. We both know why you showed up."

"Lux, I can't explain this to you more than I can try and understand this whole mess in my own head..."

"Well how about I do it for you. You were too scared to tell Cate how you felt, for whatever reason and now she's married Ryan. Do you get that Baze? They're married. She's all feet in, she's made her choice and there's no going back now."

"Don't you think I get that?" His voice was harsh, but he couldn't seem to stop himself. "I'm not good enough for her, okay. I have nothing to offer her."

"Then why did you come to the wedding Baze? Because it sure as hell didn't seem like you were here to watch them get married."

"Because for a second, for one split second I thought I might be enough. When I showed up today, Cate knew what that meant, but she turned and kissed Ryan. She _chose _him."

Lux rolled her eyes, "She showed up at your house the night before she was about to get married and told you a part of her was in love with you." Lux paused, trying to make sure this got through her father's somewhat thick head, "She didn't chose Ryan. She chose you."

He blinked once before getting up.

"I'm going home Lux. Give the happy couple my congratulations." His voice sounded bitter, but his face wasn't betraying any type of emotion. Without waiting for her response, he turned and left.

She contemplated running after him, but decided better of it. After all, she had a reception to be at and wedding toast to make.

Lux had to admit though, Baze was right to some extent. Cate had chosen Ryan, even if it hadn't been at first. And Ryan was a great guy; he would definitely make Cate happy.

But what if that wasn't enough? What if the guy that knocked Cate up in the back of a minivan at prom _was_ her soul mate. Her father, her mother - together. Sure it was a fantasy, and sure it may be some stupid kid thing that she had gotten stuck in her brain, but deep down, she knew that it wasn't just all her imagination. She saw the way her parents looked at each other.

They had history, and this weirdly deep connection. It was so clear as day to her. She just wasn't sure why it wasn't to either of them.

Could she just let it all go and be happy for Cate and Ryan?

It would've been alright if everyone had been honest and then Cate had decided to marry Ryan, but the reality was really a lot of missed opportunities and lies.

Lies upon lies upon lies.

* * *

The reception was only a few blocks down, and Lux had been so caught up in her head that she didn't even realise she had reached the right building till she had walked right by it.

It was 6:20. She wasn't late, but everyone was supposed to be seated by 6:30, which from then the toasts were to be given promptly.

Walking in, it was slightly overwhelming with the amount of people and noise. She made her way quickly to the front table and took her seat next to Cate.

Cate and Ryan were caught up talking to Ryan's Grandma, and hadn't noticed Lux's stealthy arrival. When the Grandma finally left, Lux cleared her throat causing Cate to jump and quickly turn to her.

"Lux!" Cate said clumsily throwing her arms around her daughter. She was clearly already a little tipsy.

"Sorry I'm late." Lux said breaking out of the embrace and eyeing her mum cautiously.

Before either could say another word, Cate's mum was standing up and had started tapping her glass. The room quietened down considerably, before a silence washed over the guests as Cate's mum began her toast.

"If I'm going to be completely honest, I never thought I'd see the day…"

At this point, Lux completely lost whatever Cate's mum was saying when she heard one of the side doors open and watched as Baze walked right through them. Lux quickly turned her head towards Cate to see if she had seen him; she clearly hadn't as she was still glaring warily at her mother.

When Lux turned back to see where Baze had gone, it only took her a moment to find him in the sea of people. He was towards the back, sitting with people she had never seen in her life.

"…but Cate, I love you, and I'm glad to see you so happy and content. And I welcome Ryan to our loving, if not slightly dysfunctional family." Cate's mum finished with raising her glass, and giving a wink to Cate.

Lux could see the relief on Cate's face, which meant the toast hadn't been too disastrous.

As her mum sat down, Lux realised it was her turn to speak. She wasn't very good at public speaking, in fact, she kind of hated it. But she had agreed to do it because Cate had pretty much begged her, and this was Cate's day, after all.

So Lux slowly stood up, bracing herself and trying to remember the words she had prepared earlier. Of course, when she looked around the room and was met with expectant eyes. _A lot_ of expectant eyes, she totally froze. Any coherent sentence flew out of her head and she stood there, her mouth hanging open like an idiot.

Cate looked up at her worriedly and gave her an encouraging squeeze on the leg. Lux swallowed. She could do this.

"Whe-When I look at Cate and Ryan, I see what a real couple are supposed to be... They support each other, they enjoy each other and they love each other." She paused, and found Baze. He had his head down. "Ryan has become a big part of my life as well as Cate's, and he's been a really great support to me. I'm so happy that you're going to be in my life for a long time to come, and I can only hope that one day I'll be able to have a relationship as real and loving as the one you two have." Lux gave an awkward smile before raising her glass, "To Cate and Ryan."

There was a rise of voices as everyone toasted the couple. Everyone except one man sitting at the back.

* * *

The entrees, mains and desert went smoothly; everyone seemingly content and full. There was only one thing left now, the dancing. Most importantly, the bride and groom's first dance.

There was a collective 'aww' as Ryan led Cate onto the dance floor and took her into his arms. Eventually other couples made their way onto the floor, and soon everyone was dancing.

Baze was one of the few people still seated, and if anyone hadn't noticed him yet, they probably would now. So Lux decided she may as well go and talk to him.

"You came." She stood looking down at him.

"I have no idea why."

She hated to see her dad like this. "Come on, let's dance."

Reluctant at first, Lux eventually dragged Baze onto the dance floor. She started doing weird dance moves and pulling funny faces at him. He couldn't help but laugh and he felt his mood start to lift a little.

After a few songs, his daughter's eyes suddenly lit up. "Bug?" She was looking past Baze, to somewhere behind him. Baze turned around and saw Lux's boyfriend coming towards them. "I thought you weren't going to be back till tomorrow."

He gave Baze a polite nod, before reaching Lux.

"Yeah, well, I knew today was important to you. And I wanted to be here with you."

Baze rolled his eyes at the sappiness of teenage love as they began to dance together. Not wanting to cramp Lux's style, he turned to find his way back to the table. That was when he saw her. Her back was turned to him so she hadn't seen him yet. He quickly tried to change his course of direction, but was met with a wall of couples. When he spun around again, searching for a route out of there, the song came to an end and people started breaking apart and clapping.

He tried to take this as an opportunity to break through the now separated couples and get out of there.

However, apparently God hated him.

"Baze!" It was Ryan's voice. Baze tried not to acknowledge him and started to move in the opposite direction. "Hey Baze!" _Couldn't that guy take a hint?_

"What's up?" Baze said turning around, a forced smile etched across his face. He could see Cate was trying to pull her husband away. He took a few steps forward so he could hear what Ryan wanted over the music.

"Can you look after this one for a few songs? I have to go to the bathroom - haven't had a chance since before the wedding." Ryan didn't really wait for a response before he was already turning to leave.

"Oh um, dude I was about to-" Baze spluttered.

"Thanks!" Ryan said cheerfully, clearly unable to hear him now that he had moved further away from them.

Baze turned to Cate. She looked flustered.

Without even trying, they were kind of being pushed towards one another as every other couple moved in and out.

He had this shell shocked look on his face.

"Look Baze, it's fine. I'm tired anyway, I think I'll just go and have a sit down." She turned to leave, but like Baze before, was met with a wall of slow-moving couples. And her dress, so thick with all its layers would not make it easy to manoeuvre around everyone. She turned back around, her face had taken on this frantic look as her eyes searched for an easier route out of the dance floor.

"Cate…" She froze at his voice saying her name. "It's okay."

She looked up at him. "For who?"

He let out a sigh. "It's just a dance."

He stepped forward, closing the gap between them. Her eyes were wary, but she didn't move. He awkwardly placed his arm on her back.

When she placed her hands on his shoulder, she felt how tense he was.

The music flowed through the room and as they danced, he became a little less rigid with each movement. She waited, and he waited.

She was the first to speak up, of course.

"Baze…I don't know what to say." The words were spoken softly into his shoulder.

"Then don't." His breath was warm against her ear, and even though he only whispered two words, they still betrayed him. His voice sounded shaky, and his throat had dried up.

The music began to swell and a feeling of momentum passed through them.

His hand moved a little further down her back as their bodies came even closer together. She didn't protest, or push him away, because for some reason, she couldn't _not_ let herself have this moment.

He was moving her in small circles and she was slowly falling further and further into him.

This whole situation was starting to get beyond her. One minute she had been so sure of herself. Walking down the aisle to the man she loved, and marrying him with all the right convictions. And it was easy to convince herself that Ryan was the guy for her. That she was _choosing_ him.

But, when it came down to it - like really came down to it - was it so much as her choosing him, or him really being her only choice?

She hated herself for thinking that way, but going to Baze the night before her wedding and telling him how she felt - it was crazy. But the crazier thing was that she'd never felt more alive.

But then he had rejected her and it stopped being about a choice. It stopped being about what she felt, and who she felt more for.

Anyway, Ryan provided stability, and she could trust him. She loved him.

"Can I steal her back?" Both were brought back to reality with the sound of Ryan's voice.

They broke apart. "Of course." Baze could feel Cate's hand lingering on his arm. Ryan took her in his arms as Baze stepped back, and soon she was swept away from him.

He had never felt so pent up with emotions. Anger, lust, frustration, sadness, love.

And that was when he left. Cate watched him say goodbye to Lux and quietly leave the room.

She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, and hastily wiped away a few tears that were brimming in the corner of her eyes.

He loved her, and she loved him.

But he was gone and she was married.


	3. Everything's Not Lost

Just so everyone knows, I'm v much open to suggestions about where you do and/or do not want this story to go. So let me know!

* * *

**Chapter 2 'Everything's Not Lost'**

_Three months later…_

"Hey! Get up!"

He thinks it's a dream at first. A really loud dream.

Then he feels something hit his head, and realises that he's definitely not dreaming anymore.

To be honest, he wasn't really asleep anyway. Nowadays, he just seems to lay in bed, like all day.

He figures that he's kind of... depressed.

"Woah woman, calm down." Baze sits up, shielding his face from any further potential attacks.

She throws open the curtains before turning on him again, "How long is this going to go on for Baze?"

This wake-up call is not putting him in a very good mood, at all. "What are you talking about?"

"Not turning up to family events, or Lux's school things, or from the looks of it, not even leaving the house." Cate's eyes sweep disapprovingly across the dirty room.

"Lux knows that she has my full support and that I'm..well… always there in spirit." He finishes lamely.

"That's a pathetic excuse and you know it."

"Well it's the truth."

"No, the truth is that you're trying to avoid me and Ryan, at any cost. Even your own daughter's happiness."

"I'm not avoiding Ryan.." He sounds petty, but it's the first and only thing that comes into his head.

Cate sighs. "How long is this going to go on for Baze?" His first urge is to be a smart ass and point out that she's already asked him that question. But he suppresses it, because the question has been put in a completely different context, and maybe it has something to do with the way she's looking at him right now but he doesn't feel like being a smart ass anymore.

"I don't know Cate…" He's sitting on the edge of his bed, his back turned to her as she's standing near the window. "I know I've been a complete douche these last few months, it's just…"

She interrupts him, her voice still sounds tight, but it has softened. "I understand Baze."

"Do you though?" He says it without any hostility or snarkiness. It just kind of comes out of his mouth before he can stop it. She seems a little surprised at his response, but quickly regains her composure.

"The past is in the past Baze. It's happened and we have to move on. It's the only way."

Baze stands up and faces her. She tries to stop the shock she feels from registering on her face. He looks tired, really tired. His hair has become a dirty mess and he has these massive black bags underneath his eyes. _Those eyes_. That's what shocks her the most…how dead they look.

"I'm trying Cate." His voice is pleading. "It's just… there's this voice in my head, you know? And it's always there, reminding me, taunting me about that night."

She looks down, avoiding his gaze.

"I know you said it's in the past, but for me, it's now and it'll probably be tomorrow. I don't want to feel this way, but I can't make it go away."

"Baze…"

"No listen Cate, I'm not saying this to try and steal you away from Ryan, or whatever, I just… well, you did ask. And I felt like being honest - you did always say you wanted me to be honest with you." He attempts a smile, although he's not sure if that's what makes it onto his face. He thinks it probably looks more like a scowl.

She only nods.

"And you know I don't want to be missing these moments in Lux's life, but for right now, it's less painful for me to miss them then to have to see you, with him."

It was weird, being this honest with her. They haven't really spoken, like at all, since the wedding. And even before the wedding, he hadn't really verbalised how he felt, at least to her.

There is a certain relief in being so honest though.

Neither speak for a few moments. He thinks this conversation was long overdue, but at least now it's all out in the open. Maybe this was the first step in him finally moving on.

Her voice is barely over a whisper when she speaks up and there's this weird look on her face that he can't quite read. "I'm sorry for how messed up everything got."

He thinks about what she says before he answers.

"Me too."

And then there's nothing really left to say. Cate doesn't look at him as she leaves the loft, and as soon as he hears the front door click shut, he falls back onto the bed.

He lays there for a while, replaying what just happened in his mind. He suddenly feels drained, but not in the same way he has since the wedding.

For the first time in a long time his mind seems less chaotic. Almost peaceful.

And within seconds, he's fast asleep.

* * *

_Three weeks later…_

He's okay.

Not great, but definitely good.

It's been a gradual thing, and he's still got a little way to go.

He's been going for runs in the morning though. It's weird because Baze has never been a morning person, but he decides it's time for a change.

_Yeah, change is good._

He's also shaved, showered and got a haircut. After all, he couldn't turn up looking like a homeless person to Cate and Ryan's. They had invited him over for dinner, which he's sure was at Lux's behest. Just like it was at his daughter's insistence that he accept the invitation.

Truth be told, even though he may have been doing okay, he doesn't think that any definition of okay meant that he could get through a whole dinner with Cate and Ryan. It just didn't seem like a very good idea. But Lux was the one who had orchestrated the whole thing, and she had seemed so excited.

And he owes her this, after letting her down so much these last few months.

* * *

He's knocks on the door and waits. Nervous would be an understatement right now.

He can see the silhouette of someone coming through the glass door and braces himself for what's about to come next.

"Hey man, come on in."

"Sorry I'm late." Baze steps in past Ryan.

"No problem. Cate still hasn't finished cooking anyway."

"Uhh Cate's cooking?"

Ryan laughs. "Yeah, but don't worry, I've been helping her."

Both men step into the kitchen. It's the first time Baze has seen her since she had barged into his loft. Her hair is longer.

"Hey."

She's busying herself around the kitchen, and only looks up momentarily after he's spoken. "Hi Baze.. uh Lux is in the lounge room."

"Oh cool. Thanks, I'll just…" And without missing a beat, he quickly slips out of the kitchen.

Their talk a few weeks ago really hasn't made it less awkward. Before the wedding, they had finally reached this point where they felt comfortable around each other, and even enjoyed the other's company. Now it was like the last 6 months hadn't happened, and they were back to square one.

She had become such a big part of his life, and now he barely saw her. Hell, he couldn't even look her in the eye.

* * *

Baze hangs out with Lux, flicking through various channels, not really watching one certain thing. He has missed his daughter. Not that she hasn't been there for him over these last few months, because she has, every step of the way. But he misses appreciating her as much as he should have. That was one thing that was definitely going to change.

Cate and Ryan stay in the kitchen, and leave Baze and Lux to themselves. When dinner is finally ready, Ryan calls them in.

As they're walking into the dining room Baze makes a mental note to himself to try and act normal.

"Wow, this looks great." He says, rubbing his hands together.

"Yeah, I'm starved." Lux says taking a seat. Baze sits next to her.

Just before they all start, Baze speaks up, "Wait. Cate made this right?" He pauses and raises his hands. "I'll just let everyone else tuck in first then. You know, wait for any side effects - vomiting, death - that kind of thing."

Cate screws up her face at him before smiling. Ryan and Lux laugh. And for a moment it feels like _before_.

After that, they fall into small talk for the rest of the dinner. It's not completely easy or comfortable, but it's a start.

* * *

"Thanks for dinner guys."

"No problem. It's good to see you Baze, I feel like we haven't seen you in ages."

"Yeah well, just wanted to let you guys get adjusted as a family and whatnot."

They're interrupted when Lux shouts something from the other room.

"I'll check on her." Ryan says walking away towards the lounge room. "...What's up Lux?"

"You're a part of this family too." Cate says quietly.

"Thanks. It's okay though… I'm okay." He says reassuringly.

She lets out a sigh as she looks up at him. "I'm glad. I just don't want there to be this awk-"

"Guys you have to come and see this!" Ryan yells from the other room.

Baze and Cate look at each other before quickly joining Ryan and Lux in the TV room. Their daughter is in hysterics, hunched over in laughter from something on the TV.

Cate and Baze quickly move their way into the room and both turn to the TV simultaneously.

"It's that monkey!" Baze says excitedly, looking over at Lux.

"I know. And it's doing that thing again!" Lux says, still laughing.

"…the one we watched when you first found me." There's a nostalgia in his voice, but he's smiling.

Ryan's also laughing but Cate just looks highly disturbed. "That is so messed up."

They all turn to Cate. "What? Are you kidding? This is genius." Lux exclaims.

"What is so genius about a monkey smelling it's backside and falling over itself." Cate says, still not impressed.

"I think what you have to ask yourself, is what _isn't_ genius about that?" Ryan replies.

"Exactly. Thank-you Ryan." Baze says throwing up his arms.

"And it's even more genius that it's doing it again." Lux adds.

"It looks like you're out-voted here Cate." Baze says laughing. "So I think we can all agree-"

"-I don't agree."

"That this video clip," Baze continues, ignoring Cate, "and the monkey sniffing his butt in the video clip is pure and utter genius." He strings out the last few words teasingly.

Everyone laughs as Cate gives up, flopping down onto the couch. And despite the slightly weird note the night has finished on and the very wrong images that have filled their eyes, Baze can't help but think that nothing has ever felt more right. At least compared to the last few months.

After they've all had their fair share of teasing Cate, Baze decides it's time to bow out. But even after he's left, driven back to his loft and is falling back into bed, he still can't wipe the smile off his face.


End file.
